The Holidays

Wow! It has been sooo long since I've posted anything on here. I guess my attitude was no one is really reading it so why bother but I need to do it for myself.
After the moving setback and all the stress it created- I've been trying to make a conscious decision to not say anything to anybody until it's a done deal. I feel like the whole situation made me look flaky and I am not flaky. When I make plans, I stick with it and usually do what I say. Also, I had to get my old job back working part time at the school which is better than nothing but not the best. I know I am talented but constantly give my power away and it upsets and frustrates me. Especially hearing how great people are doing. I was so tired with living in NY -
well, not so true but things weren't happening for me like 4 others and I admit- I was not aggressive enuf- I did not focus on my careeer enough and I am not at the point in my life that I want to be career wise. At least I am now It some casting places-
I have to keep that going. I wish we could live in NY- I am always so happy there but if we move it better be to a big city or I just can't handle it. My goal this year is to get more money and enjoy doing things I like to get more creative ideas. Fancy res'ts can wait- I'm just as happy hanging with my friends ans eating bar food. OK I have not done that in a while but it's about who u are with- not where u are. And you have to be happy with yourself before u can be happy with others.
Lots of setbacks but I will continue on my journey. I am not going to quit or hide in the corner- My time is coming!!!!

OK- here I go- I haven't written on here in a while because a lot it going on but I'm still sitting in the same place. Things seem to take a lot longer than u think and
it would be great if we could just know what the right thing would be or say but we don't and we do the best we can. Somerimes we win and people like us and sometimes
for no reason at all- we get the cold shoulder but remember it isn'i us- it is them.
Everyone has something they are dealing with but noone ever really knows. That's what being human is.
My husband is back until Sunday and then I won't see him for awhile again but next time he has 3 days extra leave time- no he does not work for the army but the company is run like an army- Feel like an Atmy Wife- We are close to selling our place and I pray everything goes smoothly and these people get their mortgage. So now realisitically- I'll prob be here until Nov or even middle of Nov- I'm OK with that- tons to do and they wanted a closing date of Oct 20- ironically I never would have had the guts to leave my part- time job I've had at a college for over 3 yrs if this opportunity did not come up. Now I can try to do extra work- not thats so much better but I really need to be around people. My sisters' coming in next week from LA and my mom has to get another biopsy Tues- she had a lumpectomy 2 yrs ago- they think it is just scar tissue and I pray it is because isn't it weird for cancer to come back in same exact place- I do not know but I pray she will be OK- Dads' Alzheimers is getting worse everyday - so much worse than last year and it makes me so sad to think one day he won't even recognize me. I am sad now It was World Alzheimers WeeKlast week and Celebrity Millionaire donate all their money to Alzheimers. Wish they could find a cure.
Tired now- will try to write more consistently more now that I have a clearer head.
Be grateful for your health

Make Yourself a Priority First

I'm lonely now. My husband accepted a job down South and now life goes on here and I am really realizing how dreary it is up here. At least when he was here, there was someone to talk to and ignore- now noone. My closest friends in building are leaving Fri for vacation Fri for 10 days and i am still working for the school. In between that, still have people looking at apt ay moments notice and have an OH coming up this weekend. If I still lived in city, I wouldn't feel so isolated. Now- How is it going to be down South? I'll have to try to meet some people like me- crazy as it sounds. Some Southern folk that like to do comedy, theater or whatever. This is a lot my fault. I just let my passions slide and now the highlight of my night is cooking chicken for my cat. Well, his birthday is tomorrow! Not so pathetic. At least I have my postcards to pick up Fri and will make an appt to visit that theatrical agency. Typical I do things when I will be out the door- I just pray his job gets better and he eases into it without burning himself out or else no move ans back to the old drawing board- Always seem to be going back to the old drawing board- like GroundHogs Day- the movie. God Help Us All!!! No LOL

Changes

Change is very scary, It seem sso easy when u are younger. I used to moce a lot in my 30's and that was considered iunstable- so then when i pretty much become stabulized ina few different living situations, all of a sudden, another move Becomes like cement being poured all over my body. It was easier movinmg around NY- Even moving up to Westchester was traumatic but Atlanta, alabama- Well, my husband will be working in Alabama and we will live near Atlanta. My friend said to me- Well, you lived in Arizona didn't you? That was college- ample opportunity oo meet people when you are young and in school. Mot so easy when you are older and have no kids. The only things I should focus on is working. meeting peopele there and comedy places and casting agencies. I know they have them down there. What else am I supposed to do? I need a change though. This is stifling up here and it hopefully has to be better. I just hope everything goes smoothly and must have faith and trust. The cats - I worry about them driving down but would much rather that than in the plane. All details must be worked out carefully. Crossing fingers.

It is July 23- Can't believe summers' flying. This is the first summer I really don't care about color- Also- going to dermatologist to check out my skin in early August so don't want to overdo it. Also, it's been so HUMID out- it's almost toxic walking outside. Nothing else going on- still trying to sell the place, pictures at least came out well, oh- yes- the Japanese guy who has been cutting my hair for yrs really flipped yesterday- cut some layers way shorter on one side and when I said something that it looks shorter- he says- I've been cutting your hair for years- You still don't trust me- I'm thinking- Welll, we were enemies in WW 2!!! So like on purpose- he tortures me becasue all I got was a haircut and think he was pissed
because I usually get a treatment also. I mean it's not like bangs or anything but like the economy is hitting everyone- HELLO- don't take it out on me. You know- nice has it's limits- you know. I like that.!!! Anyone- must go now so tired- have to work the phones tomorrow for a bit. Nie

Pray

I have lots of stuff going on and I am tired but must continue the fight- Some things come asier to others and some people can take more suffering or whatever. I really pray the economy gets better and we can sell this place and still enjoy the summer. Nothing's easy and those that have it easy find other things to complain about.

Thanks for listening- Good Night!

Limbo

I feel limboish lately. We may be moving to Alabama and I really am OK with that- close to Atlanta but the cats going on a plane!!!. Elvis bad tartar and gums!- will the vet give them health certificates? If my husband gets the offer and everything works out- he goes first until the move is worked out- I'm not keen on being here alone for most of the week but maybe I can focus on myself again- that part will be good. Elvis will miss Frank so much. I just pray whatever way it goes, the cat ordeal goes smoothly- If the cats don't go- I can't leave them!

Maybe it will work out another way and he'll get something closer. We can't even sell the place- Bad Market, Economy- Oil spill continues to get worse- need a change- a good one!!!

Tired- TBC- Nins